Lama tak update blog. Tak tahu nak tulis apa. Atau mungkin sebab sibuk dengan routine kehidupan.
Hari ni terasa nak guna bahasa Melayu. Mungkin selepas ni, blog ni akan diupdate dengan bahasa melayu and inggeris bergantung kepada mood pengupdatenya.
Dah nak masuk tahun baru lagi. Cepat betul masa berlalu. Mungkin bila usia semakin meningkat, kita rasa masa pun berlalu semakin cepat. Hari raya haji pun dalam dua tiga hari lagi. Kali ini, kami beraya di Melaka. Selepas beberapa hari, barulah bergerak ke Terengganu. Hmmm ... A and Sya mesti gembira. Jumpa nenek, atuk, tok and Aki, juga pakcik dan makcik. Mungkin kami sempat menyambut kelahiran anak saudara pertama di Terengganu. Insyaallah.
Cuti ku sampai 15 Januari. Lama juga... terpaksa ambil mengenangkan cuti tahun ini sebanyak 28 hari belum tersentuh lagi. Bimbang tak sempat dihabiskan. Lebih-lebih lagi kalau plan kami untuk menambah ahli keluarga menjadi tahun depan. Dengan maternity leave sebanyak dua bulan, mungkin tak sempat untuk menghabiskan annual leave.
A dan Sy semakin membesar. Seronok melihat mereka bermain bersama. Hiruk pikuk rumah jadinya. Bergaduh pun selalu. Kadang-kadang tu, tak sangka yg kami berjaya membesarkan mereka ke tahap sekarang. Sy sudah mula berlari-lari walaupun sentiasa terjatuh. A pun bukan main pandai lagi bercakap. Siang tadi, aku masih terlelap walaupun dah tengahari. A 'sekolahkan' aku begini ... "Ibu, janganlah tidur banyak-banyak, nanti sakit perut..". Hmmm ... apa kaitan tidur banyak dengan sakit perut. Kalau besar perut mungkinlah. hehehehe... A selalu juga bertengkar denganku. Kalau dah anak perempuan... bergaduh cakap je kerjanya.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Happy Birthday My Son ..
Sy turned one on October 28th. We had birthday cake at my in-law's house during raya holiday. We bought him a pick-up truck as a gift. What? a truck? Of course, It was a TOY truck! 15 days after, Sy graduated his walking skill. A walked 'properly' when she turned about 12 months and six days. Now Sy walks everywhere and any where. A's turning three on December 6. I've yet to think of the gift. So fast time has passed by. Now we're entering the month of 2006.
For the record, my husband's graduation day is on December 9, his cousin's engagement is on November 24 and his other cousin's marriage is on December 3. There are weddings here and there throughout Nov and Dec. Not that I attend them all. In fact, none so far. Going to wedding is not really my cup of tea, if not for the nasi kenduri. Also, my in-laws are flying to Australia to visit a daughter (read: my sister in-law). So we are to help our brother (read: my brother in-law) take care the other brother (read: the youngest brother in-law) who is paralysed since he was a kid. The elder brother is planning a family retreat in Port Dickson and hoping we could join them as the 'other brother' will be there too. But I'm not sure. I could probably join them for one day. And in fact we had had our share of Port Dickson that day after raya holiday. December is a critical month at the office ... almost everybody wants to take leave and mine is already fixed a couple of days before Hari Raya Haji on December 31. For the record too, our services are needed on December 16 or 17 to accompany the youngest brother in his first visit to KLCC (read: Aquaria). Wow, look like we have a long list of things to do ... but frankly, the long list is looking more to my beloved husband. Poor Am ... but I'm sure he will not mind. He's always helpful, ever ready to lend a hand, especially to his family members. How lucky I'm .....
This week, I've been sacrificing my sleep, rest and time with my kids for a course, which will end this Thursday. Boring, but I have too. Besides, the trainer is not bad. With vast experience and knowledge plus some sense of humours, he manages to brigthen up the class, which would otherwise be full with sleepy heads whose working hours mostly end at 1am or 2am each night before. The other motivation is the money factor. Four days mean four shifts, which could expand my pocket by about 11% for Raya Haji. Tired? yes, very. By the time I reach home, my soul has probably been dreaming three times already. Also, I've got to do some extra works. Probably, in December God is more generous (of course He is always Generous) as rezeki trickling more than usual.
Hmmm ... I have to stop here as there are works waiting. I must remind myself to call mother as I've not talked to her since November 5. Every time I called home, she wasn't there. I hope this time, she's there.
Assalamualaikum.
For the record, my husband's graduation day is on December 9, his cousin's engagement is on November 24 and his other cousin's marriage is on December 3. There are weddings here and there throughout Nov and Dec. Not that I attend them all. In fact, none so far. Going to wedding is not really my cup of tea, if not for the nasi kenduri. Also, my in-laws are flying to Australia to visit a daughter (read: my sister in-law). So we are to help our brother (read: my brother in-law) take care the other brother (read: the youngest brother in-law) who is paralysed since he was a kid. The elder brother is planning a family retreat in Port Dickson and hoping we could join them as the 'other brother' will be there too. But I'm not sure. I could probably join them for one day. And in fact we had had our share of Port Dickson that day after raya holiday. December is a critical month at the office ... almost everybody wants to take leave and mine is already fixed a couple of days before Hari Raya Haji on December 31. For the record too, our services are needed on December 16 or 17 to accompany the youngest brother in his first visit to KLCC (read: Aquaria). Wow, look like we have a long list of things to do ... but frankly, the long list is looking more to my beloved husband. Poor Am ... but I'm sure he will not mind. He's always helpful, ever ready to lend a hand, especially to his family members. How lucky I'm .....
This week, I've been sacrificing my sleep, rest and time with my kids for a course, which will end this Thursday. Boring, but I have too. Besides, the trainer is not bad. With vast experience and knowledge plus some sense of humours, he manages to brigthen up the class, which would otherwise be full with sleepy heads whose working hours mostly end at 1am or 2am each night before. The other motivation is the money factor. Four days mean four shifts, which could expand my pocket by about 11% for Raya Haji. Tired? yes, very. By the time I reach home, my soul has probably been dreaming three times already. Also, I've got to do some extra works. Probably, in December God is more generous (of course He is always Generous) as rezeki trickling more than usual.
Hmmm ... I have to stop here as there are works waiting. I must remind myself to call mother as I've not talked to her since November 5. Every time I called home, she wasn't there. I hope this time, she's there.
Assalamualaikum.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
life post-raya
So, the raya holiday is over and we're back to routines. Oh, how I love the time ... no work, just husband and kids and of course family members. But as KLites like to practise, raya is a one-month thing. so we still get open-house invites.
A and Sy enjoyed raya too becoz they got lots of duit raya. And of course, the accountant (guess who?) is happy counting too. One of this days I must make sure I go to the bank to deposit their money. or I might 'ter'used their collection.
Come December, there'll be another raya... on a smaller scall though. Doesn't matter so long I get my leave. Malasnye nak kerja ...
A and Sy enjoyed raya too becoz they got lots of duit raya. And of course, the accountant (guess who?) is happy counting too. One of this days I must make sure I go to the bank to deposit their money. or I might 'ter'used their collection.
Come December, there'll be another raya... on a smaller scall though. Doesn't matter so long I get my leave. Malasnye nak kerja ...
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Welcome Ramadhan
We balik kampung from Sept 21th till 27th, although my leave had started since Sept 18th. Am only quit his job on 20th and our car was still sick. We actually borrowed our brother- in-law's kembara. Lucky he has two cars. A was very happy, so was Sy. Am as usual very tired as he was the only driver. We had three puasa days in Terengganu. The last day I ended up cooking tomyam after having a 'big fight' with Am, resulting him to merajuk and leave the cooking job to me. But surprise, surprise it turned out quite nice. A in fact had bowls of tomyam with beehoon. And as usual after berbuka, Am and I were back to being nice to each other. He ate the tomyam too. Prior to going back to Terengganu, we spent almost two days in Malacca. Ayah was not that well. A sickness he has yet to find out what the culprit is. He's been living on bubur nasi since Day One Ramadhan.
Maybe it's due to Ramadhan, Am and I argue less nowadays. Well, who has energy to shout and being shouted back when we're very tired and sleepy with empty stomach.
Sy is very active and talkactive. He climbs chairs, balcony, me, the sister, the father. He also bites all sort of things he can lay his hand on, including my arm. He's one happy kid, who cries easily for attention. So contrast eh. He's happy as he smiles a lot, but he also manja and likes to cling to me.
A has so much interest in prayers these days. She does her 'solat' many times in a day. She can perform solat in the wee hour of the day ... hehehe. She can be a makmun to Am, and I sometimes noticed Am having problem concentrating whe she starts doing her sujud and stumbles backward. But how she performs it doesn't matter. What matters to me that she has interest in solat although she's only two going three years old.
We're pretty broke these days, although we are still able to makan as usual. But I've yet to buy raya clothes for the kids. I will in the next few days. Maybe when I'm off next week. And if we have extra, we'll buy for ourselves as well. To my husband and I, new clothes are not important. We just wear what is our wardrobe. Many are still in good condition. Thank God, we're not the fashionable type.
In the office, things are as usual. I have moved to our new office, which is quite comfortable. I adapted to this new place quite fast. I'm not really fussy. After all, this is only workplace. My real place is home sweet home.
Maybe it's due to Ramadhan, Am and I argue less nowadays. Well, who has energy to shout and being shouted back when we're very tired and sleepy with empty stomach.
Sy is very active and talkactive. He climbs chairs, balcony, me, the sister, the father. He also bites all sort of things he can lay his hand on, including my arm. He's one happy kid, who cries easily for attention. So contrast eh. He's happy as he smiles a lot, but he also manja and likes to cling to me.
A has so much interest in prayers these days. She does her 'solat' many times in a day. She can perform solat in the wee hour of the day ... hehehe. She can be a makmun to Am, and I sometimes noticed Am having problem concentrating whe she starts doing her sujud and stumbles backward. But how she performs it doesn't matter. What matters to me that she has interest in solat although she's only two going three years old.
We're pretty broke these days, although we are still able to makan as usual. But I've yet to buy raya clothes for the kids. I will in the next few days. Maybe when I'm off next week. And if we have extra, we'll buy for ourselves as well. To my husband and I, new clothes are not important. We just wear what is our wardrobe. Many are still in good condition. Thank God, we're not the fashionable type.
In the office, things are as usual. I have moved to our new office, which is quite comfortable. I adapted to this new place quite fast. I'm not really fussy. After all, this is only workplace. My real place is home sweet home.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Two sick kids make me crazy ...
A and Sy have been down with fever since last Friday, and of course they have become fussier. They've left me so exhausted and angry. I'm angry because I don't have that enough patience to handle them. I scream most of the time to get them do things. I'm damn sure it's no good for them and neither it is for me. I feel like I've failed. Lucky, they are much better today.
I also feel that being so busy with them have put a toll on relationship between me and Am. We hardly have a real conversation these days and sometimes, I find myself being so mad at Am for no apparent reasons. We sometimes argue. I also notice he's become quiter and it's so hard to see him laughing and smiling these days. I want to correct this, but sometimes I feel he should have known better not to let this kind of things put a strain in our relationship. From the beginning, before we step into this marriage, we knew it was not going to be easy. And now, I feel he's like giving in to this situation, and sometimes, I feel so dissapointed. I don't know. I'm so tired....
I pray Allah will save our marriage.
I also feel that being so busy with them have put a toll on relationship between me and Am. We hardly have a real conversation these days and sometimes, I find myself being so mad at Am for no apparent reasons. We sometimes argue. I also notice he's become quiter and it's so hard to see him laughing and smiling these days. I want to correct this, but sometimes I feel he should have known better not to let this kind of things put a strain in our relationship. From the beginning, before we step into this marriage, we knew it was not going to be easy. And now, I feel he's like giving in to this situation, and sometimes, I feel so dissapointed. I don't know. I'm so tired....
I pray Allah will save our marriage.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
The apples of my eyes
It's been some time since I updated this blog. Have been quite busy with everyday's routine. A few developments have happened. My baby boy has become increasingly steadier with his steps. He baby-talks much too. He calls ayah, but can't get ibu. He teases the sister a lot too. Sy is now 10 months old. It's nice to see both of them playing together. They're so cute, I almost cry when I see them together. They are the apples of my eyes.
A has graduated her toilet training since some one month ago. I'm so relief that she finally understand the concept of going to the toilet when she feels the urge. The not very good thing is she goes to the toilet so often, sometimes I become so fed-up, I start scolding her. I sometimes think she's grown so fast. She can understand a lot of things too.
Last night she threw a fit when I scolded her about something. She was crying and talking at the same time, screaming 'A mintak maaf tapi Ibu tak mintak maaf pun'. And I went like 'A salah, so A kena mintak maaf' and she went on 'Ibu tak mintak maaf pun, A tak nak kawan dengan Ibu, tk nak beli gula-gula!'. hmmm ... I was speechless when I heard that and was thinking I was really a bad mother. And also feel funny everytime she says 'tak nak beli gula-gula'. I don't know where she got that, maybe from the nursery. She knows Mawi and Siti Nurhaliza and sings to songs in TV ads. I laughed when one day she asked me 'dah pukul tiga, ibu tak masak ke?'. Of course, She has yet to learn about reading the clock. It was only 12pm.
I realise, I have very few communication with Am lately. No, we're not in bad term. We're just tired and exhausted. Maybe we need to have time on our own without the kids.
I'm moving to the new office this Tuesday. This is the third time I move places since I started working with the company. I don't know if I like the place. But I'm just a worker here, so I'll just follow. The new place looks interesting albeit less privacy.
A has graduated her toilet training since some one month ago. I'm so relief that she finally understand the concept of going to the toilet when she feels the urge. The not very good thing is she goes to the toilet so often, sometimes I become so fed-up, I start scolding her. I sometimes think she's grown so fast. She can understand a lot of things too.
Last night she threw a fit when I scolded her about something. She was crying and talking at the same time, screaming 'A mintak maaf tapi Ibu tak mintak maaf pun'. And I went like 'A salah, so A kena mintak maaf' and she went on 'Ibu tak mintak maaf pun, A tak nak kawan dengan Ibu, tk nak beli gula-gula!'. hmmm ... I was speechless when I heard that and was thinking I was really a bad mother. And also feel funny everytime she says 'tak nak beli gula-gula'. I don't know where she got that, maybe from the nursery. She knows Mawi and Siti Nurhaliza and sings to songs in TV ads. I laughed when one day she asked me 'dah pukul tiga, ibu tak masak ke?'. Of course, She has yet to learn about reading the clock. It was only 12pm.
I realise, I have very few communication with Am lately. No, we're not in bad term. We're just tired and exhausted. Maybe we need to have time on our own without the kids.
I'm moving to the new office this Tuesday. This is the third time I move places since I started working with the company. I don't know if I like the place. But I'm just a worker here, so I'll just follow. The new place looks interesting albeit less privacy.
Monday, August 14, 2006
A's achievement
Today I saw a sense of achievement on my daughter's face. She finally managed to poop in the seated toilet. Before, she had been using the squat toilet. Funny, when I saw her straining herself. The toilet is quite large for her, but she refused the mini flap. Somehow, she was successful. And I was happy. A is 2 years and 8 months old.
Am looking forward to meeting my parents who will come down here on Friday. It has been about 3 months since I last met them. They miss Sy and A so much. Too bad, our car is not functional. It needs new absorbers and shaft. So maybe I'll take the train.
I'm due to take my leave from 15 Sept to 27 Sept, for the record, in case I forget. These days I forget easily. In juggling between the kids and work, I tend to miss many things. I in fact forgot our wedding anniversary on 27 July until Am called at 12am to wish me. Due to our financial position, I've yet to buy him a gift. And for the record too, I'll hunt for something special once our money position stabilises.
Am considering buying a smaller car due to rising petrol prices. We're really hit by the increases. We have to pay double for the same litre of petrol we bought before. I guess a smaller car will be more economical. Maybe I'll consider MyV, though the waiting time may take ages. Due to the smaller size of car, maybe we also have to shrink ourselves a bit, and that means shrinking the size of our food.
whoever says size doesn't matter?
Am looking forward to meeting my parents who will come down here on Friday. It has been about 3 months since I last met them. They miss Sy and A so much. Too bad, our car is not functional. It needs new absorbers and shaft. So maybe I'll take the train.
I'm due to take my leave from 15 Sept to 27 Sept, for the record, in case I forget. These days I forget easily. In juggling between the kids and work, I tend to miss many things. I in fact forgot our wedding anniversary on 27 July until Am called at 12am to wish me. Due to our financial position, I've yet to buy him a gift. And for the record too, I'll hunt for something special once our money position stabilises.
Am considering buying a smaller car due to rising petrol prices. We're really hit by the increases. We have to pay double for the same litre of petrol we bought before. I guess a smaller car will be more economical. Maybe I'll consider MyV, though the waiting time may take ages. Due to the smaller size of car, maybe we also have to shrink ourselves a bit, and that means shrinking the size of our food.
whoever says size doesn't matter?
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Save the Lebanese and Palestinians
The world has increasingly become a sad place to live in. Having access to latest news from wires across the world, I am always updated with what is happening around the world. At this point, of course, the brutal, inhumane attacks of Israeli against Lebanon and Palestine is the focus. Come with pictures of victims which are so graphic and gory, I thought I have seen the worst. But the worst is actually what fellow humans in the other side of the world are experiencing.
I always want to believe that not all Jews are evils, that only the zionists are actually the Satan. But it's hard to have kind feeling towards the whole Jewish race if my own fellow muslims particularly are being brutally slaughtered by Israeli terrorists and militants. Is it wrong if I pray that Allah blasts them? As I never actually prayed bad things to happen to other people. What the pigs do to the Lebanese and Palestinian people are beyond humanity. And the pigs are being helped by two fat nations of pigs by the name of the US and Britain. Is it too much if I ask Allah to just bring down the sky with everything in it onto that nations too? But the innocent people must be saved first.
I have kids and naturally, I would react to the gory images of babies and young boys and girls killed and injured during the attacks. There are so innocent, they didn't even know what hate is and never actually felt it. Poor little kids. But for sure, your place is guaranteed in the Heaven, with the River of Milk flowing underneath it.
Allah, please rescue the Palestinians and the Lebanese and all Muslims in the world.
I always want to believe that not all Jews are evils, that only the zionists are actually the Satan. But it's hard to have kind feeling towards the whole Jewish race if my own fellow muslims particularly are being brutally slaughtered by Israeli terrorists and militants. Is it wrong if I pray that Allah blasts them? As I never actually prayed bad things to happen to other people. What the pigs do to the Lebanese and Palestinian people are beyond humanity. And the pigs are being helped by two fat nations of pigs by the name of the US and Britain. Is it too much if I ask Allah to just bring down the sky with everything in it onto that nations too? But the innocent people must be saved first.
I have kids and naturally, I would react to the gory images of babies and young boys and girls killed and injured during the attacks. There are so innocent, they didn't even know what hate is and never actually felt it. Poor little kids. But for sure, your place is guaranteed in the Heaven, with the River of Milk flowing underneath it.
Allah, please rescue the Palestinians and the Lebanese and all Muslims in the world.
Friday, August 04, 2006
Bossy daugther, clinging son
Sy was nine months old on July 28, going 10 months. He's growing cuter and looking more like the father. hehehe ... of course I would say that, he's my son and the father is my partner. Both of them are always cute to my eyes. So is my daughter. So cute, and very naughty too. A is quite fluent for her age. Sometimes, I wish she talked like other kids her age do. Kids should be kids. A 2-year over kid like A should have cuteness in the way she talks. A talks quite perfect, tak pelat. There were many occasions she sounded almost adult, I felt funny and sometimes weird ...
Am just came back from work and was holding a plastics bag with few magazines inside. A was 'releasing' herself in her 'toilet' (diapers) (she is still toilet-training) and saw the father.
A: Beli buku ke?
Am: Tak, beli majalah je.
A: Bak sini, A pinjam jap.
Am: A tgh berak kan. Nanti la.
A: Bak la sini. Pinjam jap je ....
She's quite bossy too.
It was about 12pm on one working day. And I was watching TV and planning to do the cooking after the drama finished. A and Sy were playing. Suddenly, she looked at me.
A: Ibu tak masak ke?
Me: Sat la. Nanti habis cerita ni masak la.
A: Ibu pegi masak!
Me: Sat la. Nanti masak la.
A: Ibu masak lah. (And she started to cry).
Me: ??????
A loves to sing. I've bought her a nursery song VCD and she sees it almost every other day. She likes to tell stories too. She makes up her own stories from the illustration she sees in her kindergarten books. No, she hasn't gone to kindergarten yet. But I've bought her some simple ABC books. I think schooling for her will only start after she's five. Sometimes, I'm afraid she'll be left behind as her cousions gone to school when they were four. But Am is pretty sure A will catch up with the lesson well. And I must agree too.
Sy is brigther and naughtier too. He eats whatever he picks from the floor. So, I have to be extra careful. He's fussier too, like refuse to sleep early. Plus, he like to scream when demanding attention, especially when they see us getting ready to go out and he's still there on the floor. Well, he can walk but not without clinging to things. Maybe, he's afraid he'll be left behind. You know, sometimes parents forget they have babies at home.
I may have two nieces/nephews next year. My youngest brother's wife is also pregnant, I assume, about a month. That would be nice. I never had my own anak sedara. Miss my parents too. They'll come to visit me this month, but they said there were not sure when. Maybe I'll ask for couple of days off.
These days I have to be careful with what I write here. Not to make comment on things and people or government issues, or else I may get sued. Well, I don't have problem with that. I pretty much agree there must be regulations on how people conduct their blogs. Freedom of expression must always come with responsibilities. Whoever says we're actually free to do and say whatever we like? Doesn't this world come with laws and orders? What's the use of having laws if we don't actually follow? What's the point of free expression if we can't live freely and in peace. If humans are left to do whatever they will, I'm sure the only thing that prevail the most is their dark and ugly side. These days, people think what's bad is actually cool. Decent girls are considered boring and hypocrites. Funny ... what's actually hypocrisy ... of course we have to be hypocrite sometimes. If we just do whatever our hearts tell us to, then imagine what would happen. Men have good and bad side. Most of the time, maybe we just want to hug and kiss others. But there are some occasions when we feel like kicking and slapping them. Should we just go ahead and do just that? Well, we don't want to be hypocrite, do we?
On another issue, the other day, one young woman was allegedly raped and murdered. Her remain was beyond recognition. She wore tudung. And feminists would say, look she wore tudong, but still the bad targeted her. And that's the more reason for women to wear anything they like as as they feel what they wear doesn't cause anything. I'm sick when people act 'lepas tangan' but urges others like the government to take action. Sometimes, they forget, many factors contribute to the rise of rape crime. And it takes everybody to play their role, including women. The criminal may not need to see the poor young woman naked to trigger him to do what he did. He may have gotten some triggers somewhere else, like on TV or video and in clubs. He may have just stumbled upon a very undecently dressed lady and gotten aroused but spared his acts on the lady due to wrong timing and place. Then somewhere else, he chanced onto the poor young woman who was decently dressed, but was in right timing and place for him to act. I am of the opinion women's lifestyle this day, including dressing sense, does contribute to the rising number of rape crimes. And of course there are other factors too like what media carry and lack of religious knowledge. And above all, of course the bad guys themselves. They're the actual devils.
But we can't give any chance this day, with many sick minds around. We have to do whatever we can and can't just ask others to take action. And maybe for a start, we just need to look at ourselves and try not to do or act in a way that can trigger the sick minds. Bear in mind, others may have to pay the price for whatever we've done, because they're in wrong times and places. They could be our own mothers, daugthers, friends, relatives, etc, etc. So let's not give reason.
Al-Fatihah for Zalini.
Am just came back from work and was holding a plastics bag with few magazines inside. A was 'releasing' herself in her 'toilet' (diapers) (she is still toilet-training) and saw the father.
A: Beli buku ke?
Am: Tak, beli majalah je.
A: Bak sini, A pinjam jap.
Am: A tgh berak kan. Nanti la.
A: Bak la sini. Pinjam jap je ....
She's quite bossy too.
It was about 12pm on one working day. And I was watching TV and planning to do the cooking after the drama finished. A and Sy were playing. Suddenly, she looked at me.
A: Ibu tak masak ke?
Me: Sat la. Nanti habis cerita ni masak la.
A: Ibu pegi masak!
Me: Sat la. Nanti masak la.
A: Ibu masak lah. (And she started to cry).
Me: ??????
A loves to sing. I've bought her a nursery song VCD and she sees it almost every other day. She likes to tell stories too. She makes up her own stories from the illustration she sees in her kindergarten books. No, she hasn't gone to kindergarten yet. But I've bought her some simple ABC books. I think schooling for her will only start after she's five. Sometimes, I'm afraid she'll be left behind as her cousions gone to school when they were four. But Am is pretty sure A will catch up with the lesson well. And I must agree too.
Sy is brigther and naughtier too. He eats whatever he picks from the floor. So, I have to be extra careful. He's fussier too, like refuse to sleep early. Plus, he like to scream when demanding attention, especially when they see us getting ready to go out and he's still there on the floor. Well, he can walk but not without clinging to things. Maybe, he's afraid he'll be left behind. You know, sometimes parents forget they have babies at home.
I may have two nieces/nephews next year. My youngest brother's wife is also pregnant, I assume, about a month. That would be nice. I never had my own anak sedara. Miss my parents too. They'll come to visit me this month, but they said there were not sure when. Maybe I'll ask for couple of days off.
These days I have to be careful with what I write here. Not to make comment on things and people or government issues, or else I may get sued. Well, I don't have problem with that. I pretty much agree there must be regulations on how people conduct their blogs. Freedom of expression must always come with responsibilities. Whoever says we're actually free to do and say whatever we like? Doesn't this world come with laws and orders? What's the use of having laws if we don't actually follow? What's the point of free expression if we can't live freely and in peace. If humans are left to do whatever they will, I'm sure the only thing that prevail the most is their dark and ugly side. These days, people think what's bad is actually cool. Decent girls are considered boring and hypocrites. Funny ... what's actually hypocrisy ... of course we have to be hypocrite sometimes. If we just do whatever our hearts tell us to, then imagine what would happen. Men have good and bad side. Most of the time, maybe we just want to hug and kiss others. But there are some occasions when we feel like kicking and slapping them. Should we just go ahead and do just that? Well, we don't want to be hypocrite, do we?
On another issue, the other day, one young woman was allegedly raped and murdered. Her remain was beyond recognition. She wore tudung. And feminists would say, look she wore tudong, but still the bad targeted her. And that's the more reason for women to wear anything they like as as they feel what they wear doesn't cause anything. I'm sick when people act 'lepas tangan' but urges others like the government to take action. Sometimes, they forget, many factors contribute to the rise of rape crime. And it takes everybody to play their role, including women. The criminal may not need to see the poor young woman naked to trigger him to do what he did. He may have gotten some triggers somewhere else, like on TV or video and in clubs. He may have just stumbled upon a very undecently dressed lady and gotten aroused but spared his acts on the lady due to wrong timing and place. Then somewhere else, he chanced onto the poor young woman who was decently dressed, but was in right timing and place for him to act. I am of the opinion women's lifestyle this day, including dressing sense, does contribute to the rising number of rape crimes. And of course there are other factors too like what media carry and lack of religious knowledge. And above all, of course the bad guys themselves. They're the actual devils.
But we can't give any chance this day, with many sick minds around. We have to do whatever we can and can't just ask others to take action. And maybe for a start, we just need to look at ourselves and try not to do or act in a way that can trigger the sick minds. Bear in mind, others may have to pay the price for whatever we've done, because they're in wrong times and places. They could be our own mothers, daugthers, friends, relatives, etc, etc. So let's not give reason.
Al-Fatihah for Zalini.
Friday, July 21, 2006
Fanaticism or 'kepohism'
What's wrong with Malaysians these days? Why we're so kepoh about other people's business? Since when others'jodoh becomes our business? I like and dislike Siti Nurhaliza's issues. I admire the way she gained her success, but it irks me when her fans and non-fans become so fanatic they think they can tell her who she should be marrying. I'm critical over Mawi's shot to stardom and his engagement break-up, but why should we bother to point fingers or even think about who's right or wrong, which led to the break-up. I'm neutral about Erra and Yusry, but pity them when their marriage didn't work. But heck, I don't care who was to be blamed in their marriage. For God's sake, it's their business to whom they want to get married to or to break up or divorce from. Why we so busy-body?
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Indonesia menangis lagi
The tsunami hit Indonesia again, claiming 300 lives so far. Hundreds others are still missing. And Indonesia menangis lagi. Going through the pictures, I can not help but wonder why disasters seem to always be happening on Indonesia's land, one after another. Why God let them happen to Indonesians? How're they going to go forward if disasters hit them like any other day? They don't even have time to re-build their homes before the next disaster comes. Maybe Indonesians are super-strong, hardened by the tests of life. But an outsider like me can not help but still feel pity for those who lost their loved ones, especially the children. I can't dream how difficult their life is, let alone to share. But I can feel and see the sadness, the suffering. Every time I look at it, I feel hopeless and angry with myself as I can't do anything to lessen their sufferings. If only I was rich, I would have a lot to donate. Often, when I go back, their tears and sadness, the innocent and peaceful look on the dead children, the confused faces of the survived ones, their frantic look while searching for their loved ones, the disappointment upon finding they were dead and many other emotional elements would remain in my head until some times. Maybe the only thing which made me feel better was to be nice to my Indonesian neighbours. But then they are no more there, having moved out couple of months ago.
I pray God gives them more strength to continue their life and ends their suffering soon.
I pray God gives them more strength to continue their life and ends their suffering soon.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Mohd Nazri's birthday
July 2 is Nazri birthday. Happy birthday brother and may u continue RIP there. Almost 17 years passing by, I love and miss you still and sometimes wonder how you would look like if you were still with us. Would you get married? had kids? Would you be fat or thin 'melidi' like the last time we 'saw' u? Now, I'm feeling sad ............. Hope I'll pray for u more often.
Genting and us ...
So we had our family gathering in Genting ... The weather was colder than the last time I went, and the fun was also less due to my aging :) and my having to put up with two noisy kids. What with the accident happened to my poor father in-laws' car, which decided to hit the wall of Genting's police station (what a strategic spot it chose) while being u-turned. Mother in-laws left shaking and feeling worried till the end of the holiday and sister in-laws husband probably felt guilty till the end as he drove the car. Maybe, it was easy to forget that being left unscatched (Thank Allah) was also a reason to cheer.
A for sure enjoyed the trip as she got to see her cousins though she was either too small to befriend the bigger cousins and or too big to befriend the smaller ones. Sy was a bit frigthened by the new environment and cold weather, so he became clinging as usual. Am was busy going up and down Genting hills as the 'victimised' car and the vehicle it hit needed to be settled out. Myself was left waiting most of the time. But I have 'grown' my patience and tolerance in double since I got married to Am and his family and had kids. So, overall, the event was okay. I gave it three bintangs.
Sources told me that brother's wife is pregnant. Good news eh. So I called him and yes, my mother will have more grandkids next year, insyaallah. I'm happy too.
Today, we send my second cousin from Trg to UPM Serdang. How being in a campus brings back my memory as a varsity student. It was like walking down the memory lane. I was happier and freer, and definitely much slimmer with many friends. Now, where're they? Or maybe to be fair, where are ME?
A for sure enjoyed the trip as she got to see her cousins though she was either too small to befriend the bigger cousins and or too big to befriend the smaller ones. Sy was a bit frigthened by the new environment and cold weather, so he became clinging as usual. Am was busy going up and down Genting hills as the 'victimised' car and the vehicle it hit needed to be settled out. Myself was left waiting most of the time. But I have 'grown' my patience and tolerance in double since I got married to Am and his family and had kids. So, overall, the event was okay. I gave it three bintangs.
Sources told me that brother's wife is pregnant. Good news eh. So I called him and yes, my mother will have more grandkids next year, insyaallah. I'm happy too.
Today, we send my second cousin from Trg to UPM Serdang. How being in a campus brings back my memory as a varsity student. It was like walking down the memory lane. I was happier and freer, and definitely much slimmer with many friends. Now, where're they? Or maybe to be fair, where are ME?
Dealova ... hmmm ... nice
Aku ingin menjadi mimpi indah dalam tidurmu, Aku ingin menjadi sesuatu yang mungkin bisa kau rindu, Kerana langkah merapuh tanpa dirimu, Oh kerana hati telah letih, Aku ingin menjadi sesuatu yang selalu bisa kau sentuh, Aku ingin kau tau bahawa aku selalu memujamu, Tanpamu sepinya waktu merantai hati Oh bayangmu seakan-akan... Kau seperti nyanyian dalam hatiku yang memanggil rinduku padamu, Kau seperti udara yang kuhela, Kau selalu ada Oh.. Hanya dirimu yang bisa membuatku tenang Tanpa dirimu aku merasa hilang Dan sepi.. Dan sepi... Kau seperti nyanyian dalam hatiku yang memanggil rinduku padamu, Kau seperti udara yang kuhela kau selalu ada, Kau seperti nyanyian dalam hatiku yang memanggil rinduku padamu, Kau seperti udara yang kuhela kau selalu ada, Selalu ada... Kau selalu ada.. Selalu ada.. Kau selalu ada...
Hmmm, I'm maybe a bit ketinggalan. But I really love the song ... beautiful melody. And even more beautiful when sung by Siti Nurhaliza last night. Until last night, I didn't even know the title. But the melody has remained in my head since the first time I heard it.
Hmmm, I'm maybe a bit ketinggalan. But I really love the song ... beautiful melody. And even more beautiful when sung by Siti Nurhaliza last night. Until last night, I didn't even know the title. But the melody has remained in my head since the first time I heard it.
Monday, June 19, 2006
An Okay cook
When I saw Sy sitting on its own, I became so excited. However, my husband said he has been doing that since couple of weeks ago. Hmmm ... have I missed something? I've been with them all the time when I'm at home. How would I have missed something like that? Anyway, Sy seems to be excited too. He uses his new ability whenever he can. He also can stand by clinging to furniture and me. A is the most excited. Sure, she can't wait for the brother to really walk so that she can have a real fight with him. Sometimes, I saw her sitting on Sy's back, imagining him as a horse. Lucky, most of the time, I catch her on time. Otherwise, boleh patah belakang Sy.
One morning last week, I almost fainted when I couldn't find Sy, who was supposed to be sleeping in our bed. I had gone checking on A in another room and fallen asleep for about 20 minutes beside her. Sy had actually fallen from the bed and was stuck in between the bed and the small drawer near the bed, head down. On top of him was a pillow, making him invisible. He was crying at the top of his lung but his voice was muffled. I thank Allah for making me a light sleeper. I don't know what could have happened if I hadn't heard him.
A has been eating quite well lately. Maybe because she sees me cook and sort of understand the process. But there're days she refuses to eat. When I ask her, kenapa tak makan? Tak sedap ke? She says, yes, tak sedap. I know I'm not a very good cook. I suppose I'm just Okay. hehehe.
When Am cooks, she usually eats a lot. Many times she would say, sedap, sedap. Ceh ...
Lately, my tempers have been bad and bad. I shout at A and Sy many times in a day. I have yet to get used to managing them both on my own during the day. That's the problem when one works odd hours. I found out juggling between office work and cooking, bathing them and doing other things in the house is very tiring and challenging. Two kids are already a handful. How are we going to manage four kids. Am like to have four. And I like more kids too. But, can I manage?
One morning last week, I almost fainted when I couldn't find Sy, who was supposed to be sleeping in our bed. I had gone checking on A in another room and fallen asleep for about 20 minutes beside her. Sy had actually fallen from the bed and was stuck in between the bed and the small drawer near the bed, head down. On top of him was a pillow, making him invisible. He was crying at the top of his lung but his voice was muffled. I thank Allah for making me a light sleeper. I don't know what could have happened if I hadn't heard him.
A has been eating quite well lately. Maybe because she sees me cook and sort of understand the process. But there're days she refuses to eat. When I ask her, kenapa tak makan? Tak sedap ke? She says, yes, tak sedap. I know I'm not a very good cook. I suppose I'm just Okay. hehehe.
When Am cooks, she usually eats a lot. Many times she would say, sedap, sedap. Ceh ...
Lately, my tempers have been bad and bad. I shout at A and Sy many times in a day. I have yet to get used to managing them both on my own during the day. That's the problem when one works odd hours. I found out juggling between office work and cooking, bathing them and doing other things in the house is very tiring and challenging. Two kids are already a handful. How are we going to manage four kids. Am like to have four. And I like more kids too. But, can I manage?
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Not a favour but a responsibility
I just had a 'not good time' with the graphic artist over a graphic he did for my page. I was told not to use one element in the graphic by the chief but the artist didn't understand why we couldn't use it, implying we didn't appreciate his effort. I was caught in between. Sometimes, people forget work is work. If sensitivity over certain issues involved, we just have to follow the rules. And I'm just a kuli here. What can I say?
Last weekend, we balik kampung in Malacca. A was so happy because she got to see causin M. A and M are like a cat and a dog. They can be very kind to each other one minute and very mean, another minute. But kids are kids. They don't hold grudges. But their antics drain my husband and me energy. Sy has been progressing well. Already, he's quite a handful. He can get so moody too!
My sister-in-law and husband just bought a new car, Kyron by Ssyangyong. The review of the car is not very encouraging, but we reserved our comments. Individuals' preference is varied. Speed and power can be subjective too. Beauty is sure in the eyes of beholders. I hope they'll find the car's performance within their expectation. And of course, expectations are also varied.
Last weekend, we balik kampung in Malacca. A was so happy because she got to see causin M. A and M are like a cat and a dog. They can be very kind to each other one minute and very mean, another minute. But kids are kids. They don't hold grudges. But their antics drain my husband and me energy. Sy has been progressing well. Already, he's quite a handful. He can get so moody too!
My sister-in-law and husband just bought a new car, Kyron by Ssyangyong. The review of the car is not very encouraging, but we reserved our comments. Individuals' preference is varied. Speed and power can be subjective too. Beauty is sure in the eyes of beholders. I hope they'll find the car's performance within their expectation. And of course, expectations are also varied.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Why nasi kenduri is always tasty?
There is a wedding kenduri back at home today for my youngest brother and his wife and his wife's younger brother and his wife. Hmmm ... a little bit confusing eh. Nevermind ... Too bad I can't go home because I'm working and can't get leave and also because Trg is like 600km away from KL. 600km is quite far, you know. Hmmm ... I miss nasi kenduri. Somewhow, nasi kenduri is always so tasty. Why eh? maybe because I get to eat it only once in a while.
Next month, my husband's family is going to have a family day in Genting. A brother-in-law has booked two apartments for u all. It should be nice to have a gathering like that. I wish I could have one with my own family too. But when? We must do that at least once.
Sy is getting more and more moveable. He has started crawling a bit. But he has also become a bit manja, wanting our attention all the time. Today, I saw A moving things out of her brother's way so that he could have more space to move. I'm so proud of her. She has shown her responsiblity towards Sy, although she can be a bit strong headed sometimes. She sort of understand what being a kakak means. And she's only two and a half years old. Sometimes, I pity her because she has to share our love with his brother when she's also still so very young. I used to cry when that crossed my mind. But not to say I regret having Sy. He's like a playing partner for A. Soon, they'll be playing together and arguing 'together' too. Hmmm ... I could imagine how noisy my house would be. Even now, our life has become so noisy, my husband and I find it so difficult to have a peaceful and quite conversation when they are around. There are always saying this and that and coming in and 'out' between our sentences. It's sometimes so hard to finish a sentence. But really, I have no regrets. Am sure my husband has no regrets too.
I have to call my parents after this to ask how the kenduri was. Chow .
Next month, my husband's family is going to have a family day in Genting. A brother-in-law has booked two apartments for u all. It should be nice to have a gathering like that. I wish I could have one with my own family too. But when? We must do that at least once.
Sy is getting more and more moveable. He has started crawling a bit. But he has also become a bit manja, wanting our attention all the time. Today, I saw A moving things out of her brother's way so that he could have more space to move. I'm so proud of her. She has shown her responsiblity towards Sy, although she can be a bit strong headed sometimes. She sort of understand what being a kakak means. And she's only two and a half years old. Sometimes, I pity her because she has to share our love with his brother when she's also still so very young. I used to cry when that crossed my mind. But not to say I regret having Sy. He's like a playing partner for A. Soon, they'll be playing together and arguing 'together' too. Hmmm ... I could imagine how noisy my house would be. Even now, our life has become so noisy, my husband and I find it so difficult to have a peaceful and quite conversation when they are around. There are always saying this and that and coming in and 'out' between our sentences. It's sometimes so hard to finish a sentence. But really, I have no regrets. Am sure my husband has no regrets too.
I have to call my parents after this to ask how the kenduri was. Chow .
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Sy
Today, I saw Sy propping up on all four for a few seconds, like he was about to crawl. Not so fast baby, I'm still trying to adapt to your sister's antics. Sy is seven months old now and A two years old and five months. Looking back, I wonder how I, errr, we, did it. But Alhamdulillah, with God's help we manage to see them growing up well, without much hiccups.
Two days ago, I read Nik Aziz's comment on Kelantanese women who like to wear lots and I mean, LOTS, of gold jewelleries. He reminded them to only wear moderate amount of gold, as in economic sense, the habit doesn't bring in profit, but only endanger the users. I fully agreed with him. There are women in Kelantan and also elswhere who're carrying themselves around with thousands of ringgit worth of gold, it may add few kgs to their bodyweight. Some women wear big pendants, as big as a cup saucer, their neck might break as the pendants are too heavy (am I exaggerating). Isn't that a bit too much? and the habit endangers the wearers too. There are many snatch thieves out there who can't wait to put their itchy hands on the jewelleries. Lucky, I don't like gold much. And I think Nik Aziz just said the right thing.
But there are individuals who seem to disagree and feel offended by his remarks. Some politician, of course, and definitely, a woman. Puteri chief felt she must fire back, saying Nik Aziz was picking on petty things and that it's up to women to wear what ever they want as long as they wear it moderately. Hmmm ... must she disagree and criticise Nik Aziz's remark just because it came from an opposition party leader. Can't she just take it as an ikhlas advice from a senior, pious man. And wasn't she also being petty? I don't see anything wrong with what Nik Aziz said. He asked women to wear gold moderately. And moderately was also the word used by Puteri chief. Hmmm ... some people just like to 'fire back', no matter what. Politicians love to 'fire back' especially on remarks made by other parties' leaders, be it right or wrong. What's wrong with people these days? Can't they listen to others and try to consider 'teguran-teguran yang baik'? Isn't in Islam we're encouraged to always remind each others on good things?
I like to express a bit of dissapointment over the mission and direction of an NGO who has Islam in its name. Its objective is to help sisters in Islam, which I think is a noble intention. Helping others is always noble to me. But it seems, the only way the NGO makes itself known to others is by wading in murky waters. Its chief is a vocal critic of ulamas and Islamic practices. She, seem to me, contantly disagrees with whatever muftis, Imams and Ulamas say, using newspaper to voice her comments and personal opinions. It seems none is right about these good people to her, sometimes I wonder if she is actually the one with problems. There was one time, when she just talked about 'tudong' and tudong and tudong. She seemed so obssessed with tudong issue. From my understanding, she probably wished she could make her own 'fatwa' that tudong is not wajib. Why she's so against tudong, I've yet to figure out. And of course, at the same time, she also emphasis the need to open our mind. Maybe to her, open the mind meaning to not cover heads. hahaha ... Perhaps, she needs to open her mind a bit to what others say and think about their messages, no matter if they are 'traditionalists' or 'contemporarists'. She should just sit down and listen. I wonder if she ever puts some efforts to actually understand what these alim people sais, as most of the time, she seems to already has objections in her head before these people even open their mouths.
There are many issues the NGO can tackle, bigs or smalls, all are important. Tudong is one if them. Overly exposed, is another issue, which maybe the NGO forgets, or purposely forgets, to mention. Immorality among muslim sisters, kehilangan jati diri, budaya and ugama, un-islamisation of muslim sisters' mind, poverty, education, etc, etc. Banyak lagi isu lain.
- A muslim woman with the loudest voice does not always represent the voice of muslim woman majority. She may only represents herself and a bunch of her good old friends, to fulfill their own agenda.
Two days ago, I read Nik Aziz's comment on Kelantanese women who like to wear lots and I mean, LOTS, of gold jewelleries. He reminded them to only wear moderate amount of gold, as in economic sense, the habit doesn't bring in profit, but only endanger the users. I fully agreed with him. There are women in Kelantan and also elswhere who're carrying themselves around with thousands of ringgit worth of gold, it may add few kgs to their bodyweight. Some women wear big pendants, as big as a cup saucer, their neck might break as the pendants are too heavy (am I exaggerating). Isn't that a bit too much? and the habit endangers the wearers too. There are many snatch thieves out there who can't wait to put their itchy hands on the jewelleries. Lucky, I don't like gold much. And I think Nik Aziz just said the right thing.
But there are individuals who seem to disagree and feel offended by his remarks. Some politician, of course, and definitely, a woman. Puteri chief felt she must fire back, saying Nik Aziz was picking on petty things and that it's up to women to wear what ever they want as long as they wear it moderately. Hmmm ... must she disagree and criticise Nik Aziz's remark just because it came from an opposition party leader. Can't she just take it as an ikhlas advice from a senior, pious man. And wasn't she also being petty? I don't see anything wrong with what Nik Aziz said. He asked women to wear gold moderately. And moderately was also the word used by Puteri chief. Hmmm ... some people just like to 'fire back', no matter what. Politicians love to 'fire back' especially on remarks made by other parties' leaders, be it right or wrong. What's wrong with people these days? Can't they listen to others and try to consider 'teguran-teguran yang baik'? Isn't in Islam we're encouraged to always remind each others on good things?
I like to express a bit of dissapointment over the mission and direction of an NGO who has Islam in its name. Its objective is to help sisters in Islam, which I think is a noble intention. Helping others is always noble to me. But it seems, the only way the NGO makes itself known to others is by wading in murky waters. Its chief is a vocal critic of ulamas and Islamic practices. She, seem to me, contantly disagrees with whatever muftis, Imams and Ulamas say, using newspaper to voice her comments and personal opinions. It seems none is right about these good people to her, sometimes I wonder if she is actually the one with problems. There was one time, when she just talked about 'tudong' and tudong and tudong. She seemed so obssessed with tudong issue. From my understanding, she probably wished she could make her own 'fatwa' that tudong is not wajib. Why she's so against tudong, I've yet to figure out. And of course, at the same time, she also emphasis the need to open our mind. Maybe to her, open the mind meaning to not cover heads. hahaha ... Perhaps, she needs to open her mind a bit to what others say and think about their messages, no matter if they are 'traditionalists' or 'contemporarists'. She should just sit down and listen. I wonder if she ever puts some efforts to actually understand what these alim people sais, as most of the time, she seems to already has objections in her head before these people even open their mouths.
There are many issues the NGO can tackle, bigs or smalls, all are important. Tudong is one if them. Overly exposed, is another issue, which maybe the NGO forgets, or purposely forgets, to mention. Immorality among muslim sisters, kehilangan jati diri, budaya and ugama, un-islamisation of muslim sisters' mind, poverty, education, etc, etc. Banyak lagi isu lain.
- A muslim woman with the loudest voice does not always represent the voice of muslim woman majority. She may only represents herself and a bunch of her good old friends, to fulfill their own agenda.
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Who takes care who ...
Sometimes, I have problems understanding some practices among malays, and perhaps other races, regarding marriage life. When I was a kid, I used to see women, including those in my family, help out men at workplace, be it at paddy fields, kedai runcit, vegetable farms, workshops, Quranic classes, etc, etc. Of course, they also cooked, 'fed' the husbands, looked after the kids, washed the clothes, swept the floor, scrubed the bathroom, looked after the cows and chickens, sometimes pets, went to the market, looked after the elderly, sent kids to school .. the list goes on and on.
Most of the women I knew also had their own 'professional' jobs like sowing, knitting, drawing batik and bertenun besides normal office jobs as govt servants, teachers, etc, etc. During the busy hours of the women, the men were usually having their siestas, lepaking at kampung cafes, watching TVs, playing dam aji, splashing in the river nearby, polishing honda cubs or raleigh bicyle, talking to pet birds, the list went on and on. In this new era, although few decades have passed, not much change actually happened. Most men still have to fed and pampered, women do most of the jobs, including bringing in the money. In Islam, among the purposes of marriages, is for men to protect and take care after women. And because of that, men should be regarded as leaders of the family. In practice, the truth is a far cry from that. And for that reason, I wonder if it's ok if women be appointed as the leaders of the family, as they seem to be the stronger species. I'm sure God is fair and He sees and listens and sure knows what happens.
Why am I talking about this? I'm lucky to have a loving, caring and responsible husband, who does most of the things. So, why the complaint? I read a news about a 100 over grandma who married a 30 something guy, so that the guy 'can take care of her'. But she said in a report, she cooks, irons, washes, bla, bla, bla for the guy. I wonder if she also has to work to put food on the table. Now, who takes care, who needs to be taken care? I'm really pissed of.
Most of the women I knew also had their own 'professional' jobs like sowing, knitting, drawing batik and bertenun besides normal office jobs as govt servants, teachers, etc, etc. During the busy hours of the women, the men were usually having their siestas, lepaking at kampung cafes, watching TVs, playing dam aji, splashing in the river nearby, polishing honda cubs or raleigh bicyle, talking to pet birds, the list went on and on. In this new era, although few decades have passed, not much change actually happened. Most men still have to fed and pampered, women do most of the jobs, including bringing in the money. In Islam, among the purposes of marriages, is for men to protect and take care after women. And because of that, men should be regarded as leaders of the family. In practice, the truth is a far cry from that. And for that reason, I wonder if it's ok if women be appointed as the leaders of the family, as they seem to be the stronger species. I'm sure God is fair and He sees and listens and sure knows what happens.
Why am I talking about this? I'm lucky to have a loving, caring and responsible husband, who does most of the things. So, why the complaint? I read a news about a 100 over grandma who married a 30 something guy, so that the guy 'can take care of her'. But she said in a report, she cooks, irons, washes, bla, bla, bla for the guy. I wonder if she also has to work to put food on the table. Now, who takes care, who needs to be taken care? I'm really pissed of.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Chicken pox or what ..
Sy had spots all over his face and upper body and we thought he was having chicken pox. Prior to that, he'd had fever for four days. So we went buy calamine lotion and semambu soap and also to see a doctor which confirmed it was chicken pox. But yesterday, the spots dissapeared. I wonder ... was it because we bathed him using the semambu soap? I'm sort of relief, because he's only 6 months old. But I'm quite worried too. A, when she was about one year old, also had spots which dissapeared for about one week to only return back as real chicken pox. I wonder what was that ... chicken pox, or some allergic reaction.
Today, he's back to himself, smiling, baby-talking and busy touching things.
Monday, May 08, 2006
I wish I were rich...
After a two-week leave, I feel so lazy to come to work. How nice if I could get more days. My brothers' wedding went on as planned, small and more 'family-oriented' :) ... maybe due to lack of fund eh. A enjoyed her balik kampung so much, so did her grandpa and grandma. I could see they were very happy to have us around. My son, Sy, also enjoyed lots of attention. Too bad, the attention had to stop there. Now that we are back in KL, attention is so limited. So used to having been picked up and carried around for about about two weeks, he must feel a bit abandoned when most of time now, he has to be contented playing only with his rattle while observing me doing household chores or errr ... sleeping .
A is so tan she actually looks like we just came back from beach holiday. She had sure been the centre of attention in Trg as she's the first cucu at my side. In fact, I can see she has become a bit spoilt. Back there, she bullied her tok and aki and most of the time, got away with it. And I also let her be as I go home only three or four times a year. So nevermind lah. Let her be and let my parents be ... so long they are happy. Trg is really so hot during these few months. Nevertheless, I enjoyed every bit of it. It's my hometown.
We also spent few days in Malacca. Although we go back to Malacca at least once a month, We never really spent more than two or three days there. So this time, we spent almost four days, and that could almost make my mother-in-law breathless as she moved around the house doing this and that. Most of the time, I feel guilty if I stay more than three days as this will make her move even more. She has asthma, and being busy may worsen her condition. But being active, she just can't just sit and relax. A also gives her more things to do. Mess up the living room and bathroom, bullying he pak su, asking to be bathed, blablabla. I cautiously enjoyed my holiday day too. Cautiously, due my in-laws asthmatic condition .....
And now, I'm back here, staring at this computer, thinking about headings, rewriting, wondering about what kinds of illustration to use ... How boring ... but life must go on eh ... and work also must go on ...
Looking forward to our next vacation.
A is so tan she actually looks like we just came back from beach holiday. She had sure been the centre of attention in Trg as she's the first cucu at my side. In fact, I can see she has become a bit spoilt. Back there, she bullied her tok and aki and most of the time, got away with it. And I also let her be as I go home only three or four times a year. So nevermind lah. Let her be and let my parents be ... so long they are happy. Trg is really so hot during these few months. Nevertheless, I enjoyed every bit of it. It's my hometown.
We also spent few days in Malacca. Although we go back to Malacca at least once a month, We never really spent more than two or three days there. So this time, we spent almost four days, and that could almost make my mother-in-law breathless as she moved around the house doing this and that. Most of the time, I feel guilty if I stay more than three days as this will make her move even more. She has asthma, and being busy may worsen her condition. But being active, she just can't just sit and relax. A also gives her more things to do. Mess up the living room and bathroom, bullying he pak su, asking to be bathed, blablabla. I cautiously enjoyed my holiday day too. Cautiously, due my in-laws asthmatic condition .....
And now, I'm back here, staring at this computer, thinking about headings, rewriting, wondering about what kinds of illustration to use ... How boring ... but life must go on eh ... and work also must go on ...
Looking forward to our next vacation.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Two in one wedding
I took one hour break to do last minute shopping for my brothers' wedding with my husband at Mid Valley. Don't have time to do the shopping these days. But I managed to get what I wanted, hope my brother approves it.
Got to go home early, lucky I've managed to finish the supplement page. Tomorrow we balik kampung. A has been singing balik kampung since last week, the day I told her that we'll be balik kampung jumpa tok and aki. She's very happy. I'm suprised sometimes she still remember who and who back at home in Trg, although it has been months since we last balik kampung.
Chow then.
Got to go home early, lucky I've managed to finish the supplement page. Tomorrow we balik kampung. A has been singing balik kampung since last week, the day I told her that we'll be balik kampung jumpa tok and aki. She's very happy. I'm suprised sometimes she still remember who and who back at home in Trg, although it has been months since we last balik kampung.
Chow then.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
successful ...
Life is so vulnerable
In Sungai Petani, Kedah, a woman and her two sons were killed. They were hit by a train while crossing the railway track. The late Zulaidah and sons, Muhammad Saiful Amry (maybe 6 or 7) and Muhammad Saiful Azlee (2 or 3) were riding a motorbike. I have yet to read the details of the story as for now only pictures with captions are in the system. Many pictures of the grieving husband Noorizan, son Muhammad Saiful Tarmizi, 10, relatives and the victims themselves. Saiful Azlee was so cute in one picture, where he and brother Saiful Amry were splashing in a river or something. I may not able to share their pain of losing the beloved ones, especially that of Saiful Tarmizi, of losing a mother and two brothers, but I think I understand quite well just by looking at them. I know only time can heal the pain of losing the beloved ones. It can be months or years. And it's so painful, especially when we start missing them, at night when we try to sleep.
Why this kind of accident must happen? What they had to die that way? Could it be avoided? The same question in my head when dealing with death news. As a mother with a husband and two kids, I feel our life is so vulnerable. Wherever and whenever I move, I would expose myself to many shorts of accidents, if I really think about it I may not be able to move anywhere. And what more if I start thinking about my babies, their safety, and there's also my husband, who drives to go to most places. I feel helpless, really. In the end, as a muslim I always pray silently that God will protect us and let me and my husband take care of my kids until they are big enough to look after themselves. And at the same time, I have always been extra careful and told my husband to be extra careful too. But again, who are not? Still accidents happen.
Al-Fatihah to Zulaidah, Saiful Amry and Saiful Azlee. Semoga roh kalian di cucuri rahmat olehNya. And I pray God to make Noorizan and Saiful Tarmizi stronger even.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Who's kena ...
Many people, especially parents, like to think they know better how to make others happy. It's like they know better than the person himself. My husband's friend. K, is now facing the situation. His parents object to his plan to marry a girlfriend of more than 5 years. No concrete reason given, except because she's big. Hmmm ... what a reason. I've met the girl, a teacher. She looks nice to me and has genuine interest in kids. Yes, she's big size, but sweet too, and definitely not ugly.
They're planning to get married next month. Even without family approval, K can go ahead with the plan. He doesn't not need a 'wali'. There's no objection from the girl's family. And I hope the wedding will happen as they plan, though, I heard there're efforts from K's parents to stop the wedding, even to the extent, by using a bomoh or a 'ustazah'. What kind of ustazah who tells others that this or that person has kena buatan orang without even meeting the person. She sounds like a bomoh to me. Kena buatan orang? For more than 5 years? K has been in love with the girl for maybe 6 or 7 years. How could a person kena buatan orang to steadfastly love another person for 6 or 7 years? Hahaha, funny! Maybe K is really under spell, but under love spell.
I heard the parents ask K to go home one day to 'berubat' as they believed in what the ustazah said. K didn't go home on that day, but did on another day. They acted extra nice to him, asking him what he wanted to eat, which was unusual, because they had never been extra nice before. They had also thrown out all the old towels and blanket in his room and asked him to use the new ones they jusy bought. They even packed food for him to bring back to his rented place. And to add to the suspicion, they also asked for his rented place's address. K has been staying at the place for more than 3 years, they never asked for the address before. Realising what probably his parents plan were, K took extra caution, avoid eating and using anything new in the house.
The funny thing is K had also seen somebody for 'air jampi' to soften his parents heart and he managed to make they drink the water on that day. So he said, diaorang ingat diaorang nak kenakan aku, padahal aku yang kenakan diaorg. So who's kena actually??? hehehe ... Not that I believe in air jampi. For sure, it's all up to God. That was just K's last resort to get approval from his parents. Without the approval, the wedding plan will still go on.
To K and girlfriend, I hope their wedding will go through smoothly and they will live happily ever after.
They're planning to get married next month. Even without family approval, K can go ahead with the plan. He doesn't not need a 'wali'. There's no objection from the girl's family. And I hope the wedding will happen as they plan, though, I heard there're efforts from K's parents to stop the wedding, even to the extent, by using a bomoh or a 'ustazah'. What kind of ustazah who tells others that this or that person has kena buatan orang without even meeting the person. She sounds like a bomoh to me. Kena buatan orang? For more than 5 years? K has been in love with the girl for maybe 6 or 7 years. How could a person kena buatan orang to steadfastly love another person for 6 or 7 years? Hahaha, funny! Maybe K is really under spell, but under love spell.
I heard the parents ask K to go home one day to 'berubat' as they believed in what the ustazah said. K didn't go home on that day, but did on another day. They acted extra nice to him, asking him what he wanted to eat, which was unusual, because they had never been extra nice before. They had also thrown out all the old towels and blanket in his room and asked him to use the new ones they jusy bought. They even packed food for him to bring back to his rented place. And to add to the suspicion, they also asked for his rented place's address. K has been staying at the place for more than 3 years, they never asked for the address before. Realising what probably his parents plan were, K took extra caution, avoid eating and using anything new in the house.
The funny thing is K had also seen somebody for 'air jampi' to soften his parents heart and he managed to make they drink the water on that day. So he said, diaorang ingat diaorang nak kenakan aku, padahal aku yang kenakan diaorg. So who's kena actually??? hehehe ... Not that I believe in air jampi. For sure, it's all up to God. That was just K's last resort to get approval from his parents. Without the approval, the wedding plan will still go on.
To K and girlfriend, I hope their wedding will go through smoothly and they will live happily ever after.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Maulidur Rasul ... a man, an icon and a maksum one
Birthday of Prophet Muhammad S.A.W. What have I learned from the day? That with his birth came the light to the happiness - Islam, the blessing of God for all mankind. That also makes me realise, how far sometimes I have gone away from his teachings ...
Supposedly a public holiday for 'normal people' in Malaysia, but not for me and my colleague 'abnormal lots'. We always work on public holidays.
Last night, I read the news of the death of a 6-year-old girl, after being in coma for four days in a hospital. There are pictures of her. So comel and innocent. It's sad the way she died. She had been left inside a kindergarten van for couple of hours (it seems the driver didn't realise she was left behind in the van as he was escourting other kids to the kindergarten) and fainted, probably due to lack of oxygen, and went into coma. She had probably tried in vain to push the van door open. She probably panicked as she was alone in the van, gotten hysterical, I don't know what actually happened that led her to being suffocated ... but it was so so really unfortunate. Poor little girl! When I look at her picture, it's like I look at my daughter. She had the same hair style, like my daughter. Even if she's not my daughter, she's too young to die, and that way too. My heart goes to her parents and siblings. They sure have tough time to accept the reality of her death.
Last night, at home while trying to sleep, I kept seeing her face, and at the same time, hearing Adibah's song Terlalu Istimewa. Maybe that is really the case where God really loves somebody too much to let her live any longer. How else to explain the death of a 6 year old. She's too young to sin. So God must love her so much to 'call' her to Him when she's that young. I don't know ... sometimes, I have problem understanding life and death ...
This is Adibah's song ' Terlalu Istimewa'. Coincidently, the song is actually dedicated to all the kids who have 'gone'.
Ku tak tergambar wajahmu
Sinar mata itu
Lirik senyumanmu
Pesona yang membelai
Wajahmu bercahaya
Memberi bahagia
Tiap yang memandangHati jadi salju
Kau terlalu istimewa
Kasih dan sayangmu terpancar
Seikhlas tiada batasan
Terus membara
Terkilan rasa jiwa
Ingin ku lihat mu dewasa
Apa dayaTuhan lebih menyayangimu
Ku pasti kau berbahagia
Duduk di sampingnya
Mendengar cerita
Sekadar rahsia
Tak tertanggung rindu…
Mendengar suaramu…
Tawa mengusik jiwa…
I am sure Sharifah Fatin Shahirah, the 6 year old, is having 'good time' in another life, duduk di sampingNya, mendengar ceritaNya . Insyaallah.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Three steps at a time
My conversation with my daughter A.
A: Ibu tolong amik khabar, A nak basha (baca).
Myself: Eh, eh ... amik lah sendiri.
A: Ibu amik lah, A nak basha
Myself: Took the paper and gave it to her.
A: Timakashih.
Myself: Sama-sama.
Yesterday's conversation.
A: Ibu nyanyilah.
Myself: Ibu nyanyi twinkle little star ya.
A: Ok.
Myself: Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are, up so high ....
A: Ibu diam! Jgn bishing! Adik tido. Jgn bishing!
Myself: ???????
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
All that have gone ... May they R.I.P
Mac 30 2006 (Thursday). My husband's grandmother (father's side) passed away at the Malacca hospital. She was 75. The last time we saw her was about one and a half month ago. She had not been really sick, except for the occasional rise in her blood sugar level. I guess, her time just
came.
April 1 2006. It's been two years since my grandmother (my father's side) left us. She was 72. It happened on a Friday's night, at a mosque, after Isyak's prayer. Subhanallah. Time really flies. Sometimes, I still feel her presence. I really miss her.
Am not sure when I actually 'came across' deaths. Maybe when I was five or six. I remember vaguely seeing my grandma's sister spooning her stepdaughter porridge. She had been sick for quite sometimes. And that night we were gathering at grandma sister's house. I must have felt asleep for one or two hours, when I woke up grandma said she had passed away.
The one I remember the most is when I was seven. I was on the way back from school when I saw a 'black maria' (a police truck) near my house. My auntie came out and rerouted me to my cousin's house. She told me grandma's brother had passed away, but did not allow me to see his body. But why the police truck? Later I was told that grandma's brother had shot himself in the head with a shortgun. He had been sick, or rather, not himself or insane.
When I was eight, my mother gave birth to a baby girl at her mother's house. What a lovely little thing, but God loved her more. She died while in the delivery process. She was delivered breech. She was so pretty and not puplish blue like some newborns. She was big too, maybe almost 4kg. That explains why I gave birth to big-sized babies. Big size runs in the family!
After that, some cousins and relatives were called to see God.
I was 14 when my auntie (mother's sister) passed away after about two weeks giving birth to a baby boy. She fell in the bathroom and died on the spot. The real cause not known. Two weeks after that the baby boy also died. It must be difficult for him to survive without a mother. And a couple of months later, her husband followed, due to cancer. That made my eight cousins yatim piatu. My grandma (my mother's mother) took them in.
In 1985, my great grandmother (father's side) passed away. She was 100 something. During my higher school, three of my male yatim piatu teenage cousins died, all due to cancer or kind of it. It seems they got the cancer from their late father.
Dec 21 1989, this also remain in memory forever. My brother, 16, involved in an accident and succumbed to his injury after about 24 hours in hospital. That month was a really gloomy December, what with the monsoon season. I still remember the dark yellow sky that appeared on that day. So dark yellow, it was strange. Or at least, that was how I felt at that time.
1994, my best friend passed away. The cause - heart cancer, which she only knew about only one month before she died. We were in third year of our varsity study. She was briliant and a top score student.
1997, another great grandmother (father's side) passed away. She was also almost 100. My late beloved grandma looked after both her mother and mother-in-law until their last time.
to be continued ...
came.
April 1 2006. It's been two years since my grandmother (my father's side) left us. She was 72. It happened on a Friday's night, at a mosque, after Isyak's prayer. Subhanallah. Time really flies. Sometimes, I still feel her presence. I really miss her.
Am not sure when I actually 'came across' deaths. Maybe when I was five or six. I remember vaguely seeing my grandma's sister spooning her stepdaughter porridge. She had been sick for quite sometimes. And that night we were gathering at grandma sister's house. I must have felt asleep for one or two hours, when I woke up grandma said she had passed away.
The one I remember the most is when I was seven. I was on the way back from school when I saw a 'black maria' (a police truck) near my house. My auntie came out and rerouted me to my cousin's house. She told me grandma's brother had passed away, but did not allow me to see his body. But why the police truck? Later I was told that grandma's brother had shot himself in the head with a shortgun. He had been sick, or rather, not himself or insane.
When I was eight, my mother gave birth to a baby girl at her mother's house. What a lovely little thing, but God loved her more. She died while in the delivery process. She was delivered breech. She was so pretty and not puplish blue like some newborns. She was big too, maybe almost 4kg. That explains why I gave birth to big-sized babies. Big size runs in the family!
After that, some cousins and relatives were called to see God.
I was 14 when my auntie (mother's sister) passed away after about two weeks giving birth to a baby boy. She fell in the bathroom and died on the spot. The real cause not known. Two weeks after that the baby boy also died. It must be difficult for him to survive without a mother. And a couple of months later, her husband followed, due to cancer. That made my eight cousins yatim piatu. My grandma (my mother's mother) took them in.
In 1985, my great grandmother (father's side) passed away. She was 100 something. During my higher school, three of my male yatim piatu teenage cousins died, all due to cancer or kind of it. It seems they got the cancer from their late father.
Dec 21 1989, this also remain in memory forever. My brother, 16, involved in an accident and succumbed to his injury after about 24 hours in hospital. That month was a really gloomy December, what with the monsoon season. I still remember the dark yellow sky that appeared on that day. So dark yellow, it was strange. Or at least, that was how I felt at that time.
1994, my best friend passed away. The cause - heart cancer, which she only knew about only one month before she died. We were in third year of our varsity study. She was briliant and a top score student.
1997, another great grandmother (father's side) passed away. She was also almost 100. My late beloved grandma looked after both her mother and mother-in-law until their last time.
to be continued ...
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Marriage is a gamble ... how true
Called an old friend few days ago. Heard about another friend from her. The friend is living separately from the husband, has two kids - boy aged 6 and girl aged 4 and is now three-month pregnant. The husband has admitted to having an affair with another woman, a Chinese, and made it very clear he will not leave the woman, but at the same will not divorce her. Neither she asks that from him. Many are urging her to get a divorce through Syariah Court as the husband doesn't provide nafkah, zahir or batin. But she refuses for the sake of the children as although the husband has been mistreating her, he is close to the kids and they adore him.
I pity her and also admire her for her act of unselfishness. If I were in her shoes, I would have put my feeling first, no matter what. Many friends seem to be calling her stupid for doing so. But I think she's doing what she thinks is right at this moment. For the kids, and I'm sure she still loves the husband. It takes lots of love and understanding for someone to tolerate such infidelity.
It must really hurt knowing our partner has turned and given his heart to somebody else ... I couldn't imagine what would happen to me if I were to face such a situation. I would cry tear and blood, pull my hair, roll on the floor, use my kids to get him back (I hope I won't do this), blablabla ... but in the end, we cannot force others to love us. It comes naturally and it also dies naturally, and perhaps, it may come back naturally, if that happens, maybe we can call that true love, which has been tested, failed and repented.
As for my friend, I pray God gives her continuous strength and I hope one day, she will have the courage and is willing to let him go and start fresh. Above all, I hope she'll find someone who truly loves her, that meants loving the kids too.
I pity her and also admire her for her act of unselfishness. If I were in her shoes, I would have put my feeling first, no matter what. Many friends seem to be calling her stupid for doing so. But I think she's doing what she thinks is right at this moment. For the kids, and I'm sure she still loves the husband. It takes lots of love and understanding for someone to tolerate such infidelity.
It must really hurt knowing our partner has turned and given his heart to somebody else ... I couldn't imagine what would happen to me if I were to face such a situation. I would cry tear and blood, pull my hair, roll on the floor, use my kids to get him back (I hope I won't do this), blablabla ... but in the end, we cannot force others to love us. It comes naturally and it also dies naturally, and perhaps, it may come back naturally, if that happens, maybe we can call that true love, which has been tested, failed and repented.
As for my friend, I pray God gives her continuous strength and I hope one day, she will have the courage and is willing to let him go and start fresh. Above all, I hope she'll find someone who truly loves her, that meants loving the kids too.
Friday, March 24, 2006
A lazy Thursday
It seems that everybody at the office feels lazy today, including myself. It's hard to concentrate on your work when you don't feel like working at all. Finishing one page takes me, like, the whole night. Giving good heading is another problem.
Call my daughter.
Daughter: ???? dah makan dah. Makan nasi. (Aiik ... blum tanya dah dapat jawapan)
Me: Ayah buat apa?
Daugther: Ayah tido adik dia.
Me: ???? buat apa tadi?
Daughter: ???? nak tido dah.
Me: Ibu mana?
Daughter: Ibu pegi ofis.
hmmmm ... I see some improvement in her conversation.
Call my daughter.
Daughter: ???? dah makan dah. Makan nasi. (Aiik ... blum tanya dah dapat jawapan)
Me: Ayah buat apa?
Daugther: Ayah tido adik dia.
Me: ???? buat apa tadi?
Daughter: ???? nak tido dah.
Me: Ibu mana?
Daughter: Ibu pegi ofis.
hmmmm ... I see some improvement in her conversation.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
It's a jungle out there
After almost 10 years working here, I sometimes find myself wondering if I have actually missed better opportunities out there. This place doesn't really have potential. But then, I am not very ambitious either, although I know I can do better things outside there. Perhaps, I can be better, focusing on the real thing, like raising up my kids, spending more time with them... Any pay for that?
Another layout ... what???
Working today, though it's a Sunday. We're on another layout revamp, which I think doesn't make any difference though. Don't know who's idea ... the new look doesn't look good either to me. Feel like we're shortchanging readers. Very few stories, meaning less content. We'll miss out on many news just because we want to have bigger stories, pics, headings, graphics and illustrations. Two line heading across 6 columns. Hmmm ... like we're putting the whole text in the heading. Anyway, I'm just a kuli here.
My conversation with my 2-years-old daughter over the phone.
Me: Hello, dah makan?
Daughter: Dah. Makan nasi.
Me: Mana ada nasi? (I didn't cook any rice today)
Daughter: Ada la. Ayah masak.
Me: Ayah buat apa?
Daughter: Ayah tgh tido adik kan. (Ayah's putting Adik to bed)
Me: ???? pukul adik ya?
Daughter: Tak lah. Mana ada.
I can smile to myself now. My daughter can now express herself very well, sometimes I find myself ignoring what she says when she gets too hyper-talkactive.
My conversation with my 2-years-old daughter over the phone.
Me: Hello, dah makan?
Daughter: Dah. Makan nasi.
Me: Mana ada nasi? (I didn't cook any rice today)
Daughter: Ada la. Ayah masak.
Me: Ayah buat apa?
Daughter: Ayah tgh tido adik kan. (Ayah's putting Adik to bed)
Me: ???? pukul adik ya?
Daughter: Tak lah. Mana ada.
I can smile to myself now. My daughter can now express herself very well, sometimes I find myself ignoring what she says when she gets too hyper-talkactive.
Saturday, March 18, 2006
unforgotten friend
Had supper with a former colleague at a restaurant near workplace. Good to see her again. These days, I've been quite unhappy with my work and office. In fact, today before I came to work, I had actually browsed through job vacancies classified section in the Star. Maybe it's time to look for a new job.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Got to start somewhere!
Have been thinking to start a blog though don't really know how to start and what to write. So, here I'm. Hmmm ... what's now?
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