Enal Is Gone Too

Cousin H's son, Enal, passed away last Thursday of heart complication. He was 18 or 19. The last time I saw him was during Hari Raya about five years ago when H and her family visited us in Terengganu. Even on the day he died, I missed the chance to see 'him' because when I arrived the funeral was already over.

Enal had always been sicked since he was a baby, having inherited a 'legacy' from parents and three uncles (my cousins), called 3 As, who all died very young at 16, 19 and 17. Specky and a little bit plump, he was a jovial kid, although a little bit quiet and reserved. His passing away very young reminded me of his uncles and brought back what was once talk in the kampung that H's family was doomed with sumpah 7 keturunan. Maybe it's true, not about the sumpahan, but that it takes seven generation for an inherited sickness to dissapear.

Looking calm and more matured, H has always been an epitome of strength to me. The one who has gone through countless hardship, having losing her parents and four brothers, including a baby brother, when she was in her teens. Married at a young age, she and her husband are blessed with six children, including Enal, the eldest.

Despite having gone through many losses, I believe, nothing ever prepares a person for the loss of own child. Enal was the first child and the first one always leaves the most of memories. It's sad to see how much H tried to maintain that strong facade. But sometimes, it crumbled as the grief was too heavy for her thin and tired frame to bear.

But it's a blessing that she has many children that make her days busy. At least, she would not have time to really ponder over the loss. But I also know at night, she would be staring through the darkness thinking about Enal and probably crying, alone. Because I also know, her husband is the type who's always Not There for her.

Sometimes, hardship is inherited, just like sickness is. I wonder what it takes for her to come out of the hardship. Most probably she would stick to it and it to her like second skin. Like I said she's one tough lady. And when the children grow up, they would make up for what their mother has missed. I hope they will and think they will, insyaallah.

Al-Fatihah for Enal. May he rest in peace.