Five Years Have Passed By

Tok passed away around 9pm on March 31 2004. She collapsed in the village's mosque after Isyak prayer. It was a Thursday night. Doctor said it was due to heart attack. But nothing was confirmed as we didn't do a post-mortem.

A was just three months old then. Alhamdullillah Tok got a chance to hold and take care of her for two weeks during my maternity leave. She had also managed to hold 'aqiqah' for A back in Trg despite being quite sick.

It has been five years since she left us. I don't always cry anymore every time I think of her. Time heals, they say. But honestly, sometimes I miss her love and attention. She was very vital to my growing up. She was instrumental in making what I am today. She was a disciplinarian who always pushed me to acquire knowledge. She was my 'mengaji' teacher who made me khatam the Quran when I was 8 years old. She was of so many roles to me and so dominant in my upbringing that she continues to be alive in my heart and mind although she was no more here.

I still regret many things that I did or didn't do for hers. But these days, I have also learnt to accept that everything that happened had been fated that way.

Of the many things she taught me, I really hope, at least, I could hold to one thing. Islam and its teaching.

But I don't remember when was the las time I read the Quran ...