Reason To Celebrate Life...

Ramadhan is over, Hari Raya is over and now it's time for Devali celebration for those who celebrate it. Year-end is always about festivals. I've not had any postings here since August. Sometimes, I just don't feel like posting anything. Sometimes, I have no mood for anything at all. Has life become that dull and meaningless??

I supposed I was happier during ramadhan, due to happier, calmer and 'insaf' mood among people around me. Sometimes, one could be really sensitive to their surrounding. Like myself, a liitle change in my partner's mood can sometimes spoil mine for the whole day. And Partner's mood changes all the time. So, go figure...!

Father and Mother were over at my place for a couple of days in late August before Ramadhan. We went to visit my cousin in Sekinchan...I liked the trip. It sort of took us out of our little cocoon.

Am's started a new job, back in the industry he had been in before his last job. Working long hours on week days, weekends and public holidays, including Hari Raya and whatever raya that comes after it. He started after we came back from a one-week leave during fasting month in Terengganu. Due to that, we didn't have the chance to be with our parents in Malacca during ramadhan, the first time, since we tied the knot in 2002. I still feel bad about this. To make it worse, until now, we still don't have the opportunity (or don't make time) to visit them.

We celebrated Hari Raya in Port Dickson, a choice made by my in-laws, due to certain 'hurtful' reasons. Also because of Am's new job, we didn't spend much time together with our family. I was really angry with him, for not negotiating hard enough on this. I felt there was always room for discussions and negotiations on when one wants to start a new job. Definitely, not in the middle of the month!

We were back in KL on the second raya. The children and I flew back to Terengganu on the fourth of Hari Raya, also the first time for Am not to celebrate raya with my parents. We were there for four or five days and returned to KL onboard an extra bus. The kids were behaving at first ... maybe due to the cough syrup that I gave them the fell asleep right away after we boarded the bus. It was peace and quiet until we left Kuantan. Then it was 'chaos' as usual. My children ... as usual..!

The moment we reached Putra station and saw Am, I felt so relief. Maybe that would be my last trip by bus, not until they know how to behave!

Now life is back as usual. Not much happening... it's like you are driving on a long straight road that has no end. You don't know your destination. errr... maybe you know where you want to stop, but somehow, you never get there. So, you keep driving the long, straight and endless road.....

Sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, I feel really excited, like something exciting is going to happen. But when I really think about it, nothing interesting is due that day. Then I tell myself, still being alive and well - the children, my partner and I - is a good reason enough to celebrate life and be happy. I keep telling myself to keep learning to appreciate, to be thankful, to love, to forgive, sometimes to forget, to accept, to ... bla...bla...bla...