Growing up in Terengganu

Reading Awang Goneng's blog Growing up in Terengganu (now kecek-kecek) brings back a lot of memories. A lot of things that I have forgotten and not done. It's good somebody could remind us of our roots.

Funny, there are many things that I don't know about my own hometown, the place where I grew up, although I go back three or four times a year. It takes someone from across the continent to enlighten me.

Things I miss again ...

I was so distracted I forgot to include many occasions here.

1) Sya's birthday on October 28. He's 2 years old. Happy birthday son. I've not really been a good mothers, but alhamdulillah you are now 2.
No party. We just bought a 'very yellow' cake and had him (and the sister) blow the candles. I'll put the picture of him later.

2) Raya time ... We went back to Melaka first on the last day of ramadhan and Terengganu on the third hari raya. The kids and I stayed in Terengganu for almost a week. Am had to go back to KL on Tuesday and returned on Saturday. On Sunday midnite, we were all back in KL.

And life returns to its routines ....

Mental

Someone I know lamented;

"I am all 'mental' these days. I'm mentally (and physically) tired, mentally neglected and not appreciated, mentally blocked, mentally angry and not satisfied, mentally confused, mentally drained... blah, blah, blah. I'm mental."

Whatever that means eh.

"I can go really mental, I'm afraid I'll be discarded as mentally disabled!"

I think I know the problem. Because I sometimes feel this 'mental' problem. That is when you are losing your focus, everything starts falling in the wrong place and you become hopeless. You'll start wondering if you'll end up being a loser. The worst of the losers.

I rather not dwell too much on this. Else, I'll start feeling so "mental".

Nurin Jazlin Jazimin, Allah bless you ... Rest In Peace

Nurin, I know you are resting in peace now

All kids go to Heaven, I have faith in that

Allah is All Merciful and Just

And you deserve Heaven more than anything

Probably you are smiling now

And already the worldly sufferings you have gone through are just small tiny dots in your life

Nothing comparable to what you have 'in there' with Him

It's so sad what the devil put you through

But I believe he will be doomed very soon

With prayers from your beloved parents and siblings, relatives and friends, Malaysians and others

Soon he has no place in this world anymore!!!

They always say 'unimaginable horrors'

But I keep thinking the sufferings the devil put you through

me, a stranger, who only knows you after the tragedy

Imagine how your ibu, ayah and beloved sisters coping with this brutality

to imagine what their little angel, the apple of their eyes, suffering in the evil's hand

losing you like that ....

With the barakah of this Ramadan

I pray Allah gives them peace of mind

I pray Allah gives them strength to continue living for the sake of your beloved sisters

I pray Allah gives them knowledge that dirimu tenang di sana

I pray Allah gives them everything they may need to continue living

I pray Allah gives them endless love and mercy

I pray that they know that your sufferings have ended

And I pray that no more little angels would have to go through what you and those before you have gone through.

Nurin, semoga rohmu dicucuri rahmat sentiasa.

Cerita mu akan sentiasa ditangisi.

Amin.

Merdeka Day

Malaysia turns 5o today. Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!

No, we didn't go celebrating like others. We didn't go to Dataran Merdeka this morning. We didn't watch the parade on TV either. We were asleep at that time. Yes, we're not morning people on public holidays and most other days too. Am has to be a morning person only on working days. I'm actually working today/tonight. BUT we do fly the flag on our car's roof...

Last night, on the way home after fetching me, Am, the kids and my self stopped at Kg Abdullah Hukum junction, hoping to see a glimpse of fireworks after the big counting. But we saw none as our views were blocked by the many tall buildings that have been erected since the last Merdeka. Kesian my kids.

Merdeka reminds me of our one-night vacation in Cameron Highland. Only two of us, Am and myself, and no kids. Why? because there were not kids yet at that time lah. It was so cold and quite on the hill there and we were having our dinner at one stall. Suddenly, we saw a parade of some cars and motorbikes and a pick-up truck full of passengers passing by us. The were carrying a big Malaysia flag and shouting Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka! at the top of their lungs. As the place was quite, the impact of their shouting was so greatly felt They few some rounds while shouting Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!, and finally, at the last round (because after that, we didn't see them any more), suddenly they just passed by us quietly. We were wondering why, until we saw also joining the parade were few traffic policemen on their bikes! And the place turned quiet again.

Talking about Cameron Highland, I really like the place. The cool brisk wind, the food, flowers, pasar malam, beautiful sceneries and many other turns. I hope to visit the place again, with my kids this time.

What I've missed

I notice few things today that I have not yesterday and days before.

1) My son calls soya sauce Kicapman or probably Cicakman ... hahaha ... cute.

2) My daughter has grown to like playstation so much, she can actually find way to play games on her own, although some games use Japanese.

3) My daughter knows how to spell.

4) My daugther uses Please and Thank You when asking for and receiving favours/things.

5) My husband has been working so hard I hardly see him and I almost think I am a single mother

6) Haven't talk to my mother for than three weeks.

7) I eat too much oil and butter

Four cousin stooges

When I look at them, I wonder if they, one day, would cherish their moment together like here. Kids are always happy when they are kids. But when they grow up, they become different persons.

Sya has grown up

Look at him! He's now 20 months old. Going bigger and more, more mischievous.

Quite a handsome fella, eh. huhu ... come on, to mothers, their sons are always handsome, never anything else.

Putrajaya, Botanical Garden

One Saturday, we were bored and didn't know what to do.

We ended at Putrajaya Botanical Garden. Surprisingly, it's a calm and beautiful place. We enjoyed the walk, although it was already late when we arrived, at about 6pm.

Swiss Garden Damai Laut, Lumut

After the wedding in Bagan Datoh, We (my husband, kids and me with in-laws) shot to Lumut, staying over at Swiss Garden Damai Laut for one night (a treat from sister in-law's husband).

Nice place, although not much could be done in one day. It reminds me of my vacation I had with Am when we were younger.

boredom makes me dumb and speechless

don't know what to say...

I'm lost in the daily routines ...

Muhammad Fakhrullah, Ahmad Hafiz

I must include these two cute babies here. They are my newphews. Oh, finally I have nephews of my own. One is very fair and the other is fairly dark, like my youngest. But they are both very cute.

Looking at them, I wonder when is the right time to have new addition in our family. I like four, but don't know if I'm capable of .... .. financially or mentally. Maybe financially, but doubtly mentally. But to me the more the merrier, although I actually come from a fairly small family.

Funny, I've actually started thinking of a name. Many names have come up ... like Adalia for girl, Adam Syairazi for boy and Nurhanna, Khadijah, Mariam, etc ... too much eh...! I've actually been struggling with my post-pregnancy fat since my first baby and am hoping to shed some pounds before I conceive a new one.

Hopefully .......

I love my parents

We went back to Terengganu on April 16 and spent about 10 days there. My kids really enjoyed their time back home. People ask me why I always go back to my parents' place whenever I take my leave. Why don't I go vacationing overseas? Well ... you see ... my parents are in their mid-50s and not very healthy anymore. I live about 700km away from them and only see them about four or five times a year. And I also take leave about four to five times a year. If I go somewhere else, when else would I see my parents then? I love them. I feel our time is getting shorter. I lost my beloved grandmother in 2004. I'm still carrying this guilt and regret of not having be able to spend enough time with her or , alas, to look after her when she was sick. Everytime I think of her, I feel the pain. Maybe God wants me to live with this feeling as a reminder. Therefore, going back home is a must everytime I take my leave. Also a must is going home to my in-laws in Melaka.

going old and slow ...

It's been almost two months ... probably, because I'm getting old and slow ... or maybe, I've lost with time. Life is busy, boring, routine, occasionally interesting, sad, less colorful... bla, bla, bla.. I don't know... I do miss old times when life was easier and freer.

The kids are growing as they should. It's nice seeing them getting bigger and smarter in front of my eyes. It's the result of our hardwork, sleepless nights, empty accounts, bla bla bla. Yes, of course, I should be proud of what we've achieved.

Hubby is getting quieter for reasons unknown. But I rather leave him be as he needs his own space too. And I'm probably getting noisier and becoming a pain in the arse to him. Why am I saying this? Nope, not what you think ... we're happy as always, or at least that's what I think. We hardly have fights, you see...

Work is boring as usual. But I'm sure it's not the workplace or the office mates or the work itself that make it boring. Then what is it? I feel I'm losing half of my will to leave to the fullest. When I look at myself in the mirror, I notice that I've changed a lot. The way I stare and look, the reflection in my eyes, my physic of course and my gestures among others . I can feel myself not liking this changes. I don't approve them, no wonder I'm losing my interest in many things.

I think, I need time to reflect and bring back the zest to my life ...

.......

I read a news about a Thai woman from Narathiwat who had lost her way for 25 years after taking wrong buses to north Thailand. She had ended up in a welfare home after being a beggar for five years. However, on Thursday she was reunited with her seven children. 25 years is such a long time. It must have been so hard for her, being away from the children. And that happened just because she didn't speak or read Thai but only her own language, Yawi, a malay dialect. And also because Thais only speak and read Thai and not other dialects. Probably she had been praying in silence for help day and night, and finally, God, the All-Merciful, has granted her the rescue by sending three Muslim health students who understand and speak Yawi to the welfare centre. And of course, her fate changed soon after that. Alhamdulillah. Who could imagine in this modern world, where language is no barrier, this unfortunate event could happen....

Yesterday, there were couple of reports on children death, one, a 12 years old found hanged in a locked room in his house, and a 14-month baby who was dead after swallowing a milk bottle teat. One 11-years-old school student, meanwhile, passed away after choking on onde-onde, her favorite kueh, during recess at her school canteen. How could this incidents happen? There have been many reports on child death at/outside their own houses or in schools. I start to wonder about the level of safety in our own houses and schools. Are they really safe for our kids?


Off with sad news. Let's speak about new, fresh life. Yesterday, my first real nephew was born in Kuantan. 3.1kg with everything safe and sound, so what my brother told me. We're planning to visit him tomorrow. Probably we'll stay at some place in Cherating. I'll see if can do some catch-up with my old buddy who also lives there. and Cherating beach and ikan bakar, yes ... sound interesting.

Lamanye ....

Lama juga tak update blog. Bukan malas, tapi tak dapat nak update sebab tak boleh nak login. Mungkin blogger ada sedikit masalah. Tapi baguslah hari ni dah ok. Mungkin besok baru boleh update betul since I'm about to go home now.

see ya.